Heading Towards A Year

Where does the time go!!!

My news is that I have just worked out my BMI – 29.8. I am officially only overweight! I started at a whopping 40.2!

It’s been a waste of the past 4 or 5 months. My head has not be really focusing on the job in hand. It is usual to plateau around this stage – this explains why my concentration has lapsed.

I had a quite word with myself and explained that this next year is the second stage of the journey. This is the period when the body is no longer fooled by low calories = use the fat stores. The period after this is where the stomach somehow starts to produce the hunger hormone. I remember being told that by the time this later stage starts, you really need to be at goal. Whatever goal is – your body decided this around the start of this stage.

So, it has been a simple set of rules this week – not flour, potatoes or chocolate! I am off with the girls to Marbella at the end of June – and as they say on Towie “No carbs before Marbs” πŸ™‚

It’s working – 3 lbs off since Monday – amazing! These really are my trigger foods and need to be avoided 95% of the time.

5 stone is my next goal – that’s only 3 lbs away…. Just like that πŸ™‚


New Strides :)


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So, today’s news is that I went to Sainburys to get a pair of linen trousers for work.Β 
I bought exactly the same pair that I had last summer (size 24), but today’s pair was 4 sizes SMALLER – and, they are too big!
How happy am I!
It’s not always the scales that show how much you have changed, it’s clothes, and seats, and mirrors and compliments, and shoes, and and and – the list goes on!!!

Listen To Your Sleeve

Over the past couple of months I have been supporting a pre-op patient who contacted me through my blog.

I have seen her go through the process of preparing for the op and then very recently through the actual operation and convalescing at home. The majority of the support has been me to her, but there have been a couple of points which have come out of our conversations which have given me a good slap! A well needed slap!!!

The first point was she help me understand again is that I just cannot touch chocolate. I’ve been allowing myself to eat it again and it has got out of control – this really is a really big trigger for me – it’s my crystal meths…


This is an excerpt out of my most recent email to her:

I am having a battle with myself with eating at the moment. I have taken on board the no chocolate promise, but, but, BIG BUT, I am allowing myself to eat rubbish instead! Gosh this food issue really is very hard to overcome. I have been thinking all morning about listening to my sleeve – as you will be and I’ve been remembering what it was like when I was at your stage.

After my op I had to remind myself to eat and the ‘no appetite’ feeling was the most amazing feeling. And having a ‘full button’ for the first time was incredible. Listen to your sleeve – it will tell you when to eat, not the other way round. (This is all going on my blog I think!).

But this great advice which I wanted to give you, I have thought ‘why the hell can’t I hear that advice’. Well there is no good reason why, only that the old habits are never very far away and it is easy to slip back into old ways. WHY? WHY? WHY?

Well the answer is easy. I am an addict, we are all addicts! The difference now is that we have been given a tool to use – THEN BLOODY WELL USE IT! (That was for me, not you LOL!).

There is always a reason for things happening and I think you contacting me was just perfect timing. You’ve made me think about what’s happened and what I’ve lost sight of. I can only thank you for listening to me too. I think we have done each other the power of good πŸ™‚

I am still waiting for my tummy to rumble and it’s almost lunch time! I have even written words on my screen saver on my phone saying Only Eat When Your Tummy Rumbles!!!! LOL

You will hear lots of rumbling over the next few months. Sometimes my tummy would rumble just looking at or talking about food! Never ignore the rumbles – they are good noises! Listen to you sleeve πŸ™‚


I think I am at the stage when living with the sleeve has become quiet easy. Beware, this easy bit is the hardest bit. Don’t be fooled! Listen to the sleeve – it is the tool for your journey and the journey ain’t over yet (I’m not sure it ever will be!)…


My Achievements

The last few months may have been a little bit slow, but certainly my body shape has changed loads.

I have just updated my Achievements Page – I am going to update this at the end of each month going forward now that I am six months post op.

The head space is getting better and I seem to have broken the ‘spell’. I feel back in control and have just entered 13 stone which is amazing. This is the week when I start doing some exercise – I feel light enough not to do any damage to joints, and finally the evenings are getting lighter. Monday is a Zumba class for a Β£1 at a local gym! I love dancing, so this is perfect for me.

I think exercise and a better head is going to be the key to my next period of success. I am going to see Julia (Marcus’s counsellor) next week. I can’t wait to see her again and show off my achievement! I have got through the head stuff myself, but I think a catch up will underpin what I have learnt, and I shall learn a bit more πŸ™‚

Thanks everyone for following my journey. Lots of you have asked for photos – I will put some up, but I never seem to be able to take a nice piccy (plus I am still shy!).

Have a great weekend…


It’s Been A While….

Hi All – sorry, it’s been a while since my last blog.

I must admit it’s been a tough couple of months. This has been the bit where you have to let go of your ‘habit’. So, we’ve all just been through that time of year when food is EVERYWHERE! Not just food, but bad food. Lush biscuits, chocolates, mince pies and generally richer food than the food around the rest of the year. So it started in the office with people bringing in Christmas treats (every day!!!). This was where my strong sense of resistance got tested, and lost. I had done so well since August and now – well now it seems to have gone out of the window. Not only at work but everywhere else I went there were more and more opportunities to graze on these treats.

I likened the 6 weeks around Christmas to being like an alcoholic who was surrounded by booze, everywhere I went! When alcoholics or drug addicts give up their substances, they abstain. Food addicts can’t abstain from their substance – they need it to keep going. I think food addicts have a much harder habit to kick. How do you separate food for nourishment from food for gluttony? And the worst thing is that the bad food slides down real easy…

And so the guilt appears again – and how did I used to deal with this guilt? Eat.

Well the good news is that I am through that stage. Phew! I looked at my weight loss yesterday and actually I managed to still loose 10 lbs over the past 2 months even with all the temptations and tough head space days. Some people would love to loose weight over Christmas – so I am still a winner πŸ™‚

I met with Marcus’s Nutritionist last night over a coffee (no cake!) in Wimbledon. I thought I might get a lecture! Of course I didn’t. Marcus’s team are just lovely…

We worked out my weight loss since the surgery and I’ve lost 51% of my excess weight. The average is 55% at 5 months so I have done really well. My BMI is down to 32 – only another 3 points to be back into the next category. We talked about how the sleeve works, how the stomach breaks down the food and why it can give pain or discomfort. We looked at the foods which still give me grief – I now understand why and it all makes completely sense. The recovery is much harder/longer than the bypass as the sleeve has a much bigger stitched area. This can still swell up when battered with the wrong foods (and up to 9 month after the op).

We talked about the main points for weight loss/management. The diet industry is still looking for the miracle cure (and making us look for it too) and it is really simple.

3 meals a day – so hard for me as I am a grazer.

Each meal should be a 1/3 veggies, 1/3 protein & 1/3 carbs – simples

Avoid a lot of fruit – wow – this was very interesting to hear again. Julia the counsellor told me right at the beginning to stop eating too much fruit. It’s a myth that it is really healthy for you. Well, it is healthy, but there’s a bucket of sugar in there too! I dropped my smoothies I was having in the early days after my op, and the weight started dropping off.

So, after having probably the toughest couple of months fighting with my monster I am now through it and out the other side. Scott has made me feel focused, positive and grounded again.

And, and, and…. today I have joined the One Hundred Club – I am no longer in the 200+ lbs group any more. I plan to always be in the One Hundred Club – somewhere in the middle (156lbs according to my 11 year old!).

I love my sleeve.

Merry Christmas

Just a little note to say Merry Christmas to all you lovely followers.

I hope you all have a lovely time wherever you are and whatever you are doing.

I promise an update sometime this week, I feel it fitting to end 2013 with a little re-cap. It’s certainly been one hell of a year. The journey isn’t finished yet, but I am certainly on my way πŸ™‚

Lots of love

Christmas Is Almost Here


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Well it’s been a mixture of things over the past couple of weeks.

Being that time of year, I have seen lots of people at socials and school events and so many, SO MANY! people have stopped me to say how amazing I look. I’m not used to all the attention… I used to not like the attention when I was the largest person in the room – I just wanted to fade into the walls.

It has been a real buz and all I keep thinking is that I’ve got months of this to go before I’m at the end of my journey πŸ™‚

I bought a dress in Next about 3 weeks ago which I planned to wear with leggins. I thought it would see me through Christmas parties, Christmas/Boxing Day and probably every New Years Eve. Well I thought I’d buy an 18 as I was sure a 16 would be too small. I did try it on when I got home and I was very happy with it. Made me feel fab. So on Friday I wore it for the first time – it’s very short and I just wore tights! I have never, ever, EVER worn a short garment. All I thought was ‘who cares if I’ve got fat legs – next time you see my legs, they will be even slimmer!’

Well, guess what… It was a bit big !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it.

I can’t get over my new moan about clothes – it’s too big πŸ™‚

Second thing that’s been happening over the past two weeks isn’t quite so smiley face….

Well I’ve realised that when life gets tough I don’t have anything to make me feel better for a moment (like 6 crumpets, 5 bars of chocolate and a MacDonalds). I am feeling more sensitive to ‘situations’. My family are so supportive and we’ve talked about it all together and everyone is going to help me through this sticky patch. I don’t fancy starting up smoking, gambling or drinking, so we need to work through this bit.

Julia (Marcus’s therapist) was there on hand at the end of an email to keep me sane – in fact this is the bit she warned me about! It’s hard, but all I keep thinking about is the end of the journey, with the new me, without 6 sizes of clothes in the loft, afraid of being noticed at big functions!

My coping strategy is still being worked on, so those near me, bare with me!

I have a plan for all the meals over the festive period… graze at the table, eat veggies first and have a couple of mouthfuls of meat when almost full. Puddings are there to be tasted!

Happy Christmas everyone and a happy, healthy New Year.




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So, I am now 3 months post op (well 3 months and 1 week) and I feel like the journey is only just really getting going. I know I have another 9 months of this phase to go which is great as some days I feel like I can’t remember life before my op.

Yesterday I saw lots of people who hadn’t seen me for a while. I can’t tell you how many people stopped me to say how fab I was looking, how was I doing and good luck with the rest of the way.

I felt a million dollars – it is always nice to get compliments. One Mum said that my face said it all. Another Mum told me that my skin looked better and my eyes were all twinkly. One said they could see the happiness written all over my face.

I can’t find a big enough smiley face to show how I feel to you all πŸ™‚

Would it sound odd if I said I feel like I am walking differently these days, kinda with a bit of a swag. Can a 46 year old swag? LOL

My other news is that I have taken the plunge and started running! I am doing the Couch to 5K run program – I am running a bit like an old biddie at the moment, but it will come. Today was my second run – stomach muscles are still there as they are hurting and also the tendons at the top of my thighs! I thought I might wait until another 7lbs were off, but I was getting itchy feet and felt like I needed to do something. I have been worried about ankles and kneees, but nothing so far is protesting.

The weight loss is slowing a little at the moment, so am hoping this exercise will give it a bit of a boost – and the dogs love a run up the track. I plan to join the gym after Christmas – time to start filling the space where the fat once lived!

Have a great weekend x



BMI – Is This The Best Measurement?


I’ve just done my BMI comparison.

Well, I am quite shocked that my BMI in August 2013 was 42.12.Β It says: This result suggests that you are obese! LOL.Β My BMI as of last Friday was 35.44. I’m really quite pleased, but it still says that I am obese!

The weight I am aiming for will give me a BMI of 24.47 – only another 11 points to go!

Good news is that last week I hit the 40lbs milestone. I am hoping that by this weekend I’ll have hit 3 stones. My daughter will be able to take some photos for me to post, so watch this space πŸ™‚